lions. and tigers. and a camel named titan.

our first trip to the metro toronto zoo. and clearly, judging if only by the absolute joy on marcus' face, not our last of the season.

a wonderful morning with more animals than we could be thankful for over bedtime prayers, including our new buddy titan the camel.

probably our best day together in a long time. i knew tonight that marcus and i had shared an amazing day filled with very cool memories. he missed his nap, and you wouldn't have known it with his day-long smile and positive behaviour.

hope you had an awesome day too. even if yours didn't include a ten foot tall camel named titan.

-kare

deux.

number two.
numero deux.
nombre ... we get it.
remember the time a few weeks ago when i asked for advice on number two on the potty? [for marcus fyi, i'm good thanks]. thank you SO.MUCH. to the people who took time to email me or ask around for tips and tricks.

last night marcus went to bed and i knew he had been working on something. he asked me for a diaper, and i politely told him no, we have a perfectly good potty and he should rock that out. he wasn't upset, which was the first sign i thought this could happen. he sat there, nothing happened, so he went to bed.

then an hour later this tiny voice is yelping from his bed 'i want to poop in the potty!' so he groggily wanders across the hall to his bathroom and plops down and goes! just like that. nbd. i obviously was so proud i started to tear up [loser mom alert] and promptly told him how happy i was that he had done it. he knew it as well. he was half asleep but still beaming ear to ear with his accomplishment. he couldn't believe how easy it was. clearly he didn't go back bed without first getting a weenew sticker on his hand.

half an hour later, the kid does it again.

he just blows my mind. so here are a few tips of my own that i've accumulated and used in the past couple of weeks:

1. don't push it. encourage it definitely, but in a positive way. if you upset the toddler in the process you are totally shooting yourself in your parental foot.
2. keep great books at the potty. like dr. suess and a toddler bible perhaps.
3. give the toddler squeezies after dinner and make clear mention of how awesome the potty is. squeezie = gets things moving and the comfort of knowing he'll have to go at home.
4. if they want your iphone to occupy their mind/fingers on the potty, give.it.up:

5. don't go nuts with rewards. do you really want to give the kid a chocolate bar every time their digestive system gets to work? we did a sticker last night. i'm sure that will last a few days and then it's old hat, awesome and zero expectations.
6. sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and stop giving in to diapers. not in a mean way. in a tough[er] love way.
7. if you have any shame, potty training is not your game.

thank you so much for helping us do this! i am super proud of marcus' latest accomplishment  - even if it was less than glamorous to clean up. [yipes].

-kare
xo

ten things i want to tell you about potty training.

our first ever potty success caught on cam

1. do not have expectations. of yourself. or most importantly, of your kid. expectations with any person in your life [not just your pint-sized co-pilot] only encourage disappointment, and really don't give you room to be surprised. and with potty training, this is crazy important. at least to me. and marcus.
2. shit happens. me: marcus, why don't you just go poo on your potty? marcus: my poop doesn't know how. he just took his first number two on the potty by himself yesterday. this is huge. because for the first two weeks, he either held it in or waited until his diaper was safe and secure for a nap or bedtime before unloading.
3. raising an independent child means some days, there is going to be pee ALL OVER YOUR BATHROOM WALLS. so keep your safe organic non-bleach bathroom cleaner real nearby, or even stock up when you find a coupon. and continue to remind your wildly independent 2-year-and-5-month-old of the important of tucking his fire hose in and holding it down with one finger. please. and. thank. you.
4. do not ever show stress. or disappointment. or frustration. killer. only ever show pride. excitement. encouragement. support. if you aren't there yet, how could you expect your little one to be?
5. you will find random tiny puddles of pee all over your house. you might judge me but i think this is beyond adorable. one day this week marcus did the funniest little wiggle dance around the kitchen in his birthday suit, and i looked down and realized his [fire hose] was [leaking]. and he was legit just trying to see how long he could hold it in. i just laughed and said: oh my goodness child run to the potty! and if you've never seen a two-year-and-five-month-old try to run down the hall and keep his legs crossed at the same time so as not to LOSE IT: that is comedy. he made it. he tucked it. we were happy.
6. do make up some sort of ridiculous victory dance. ours is so hip we would likely get a signed deal if people heard it. it is like a conga line meets lady gaga. we have mad style over here. marcus has made me sing it in front of a select few visitors. i'm fine with it. if you don't know by now, i have no shame. it looks like this:

7. reward success. reward effort. reward it all. your child is awesome. tell them that no matter where you find the puddle. they are trying. and they are awesome.
8. laugh. a lot. not at them. with them.
9. work out how much money you are saving by not buying [as many] diapers. and add that to your monthly deposit into their university/first car/first house/wedding/spring break/o.m.goodness this kid is going places and i need to back him every.single.step.of.the.way savings account. don't even think about it. you were already spending the money on diapers so you know you can afford it and it will add up to a thousand dollars a year to their bank account. that ALONE will buy their first car when they get their licence.
10. you know that saying 'this too shall pass'? the saying that likely was your sole survival mantra during the first 6 weeks/teething/first fever/separation anxiety/the second round of separation anxiety/when they started walking and kept giving you heart attacks because all of a sudden nothing was safe? this too shall pass. and if you don't stay positive, you will miss the best parts of potty training. the legs crossed run down the hall with his little bum jiggling behind him while his [fire hose] dribbled the entire way to the bathroom. the specific fancy pants requests in the morning [lightning mcqueen mondays. weenew wednesdays.] the first time he said to me: no, i going to the potty by myself. and walked  into the bathroom, sat down, tucked, peed, and best of anything the look on his face as he came running out the washroom to grab me by the hand and take me back in to show me what he did. with more pride in that moment, in himself, than i had ever seen. [i'm crying right now]. do not miss this. because each of these moments too, will pass.

happy tucking!

-kare

can i tell you something?

i think about this exact moment every day:

i also remember laughing out loud [i'm talking the real life lol] moments after having him when they announced he was a solid 9 pounds and that when they gave him to me, he literally filled my arms he was so big. and when i came across this photo this morning i laughed again.

i don't remember the photo being taken. it was less than 2 minutes after i had him and i was entirely in this moment. but i do remember him looking at me and knowing that we knew each other all along.

then, i drove myself home from the hospital less than 24 hours later and stopped at the keg for a steak on the way home. hah.

my sister is due to have the second smith baby any day now and i have been dedicating all the strength and energy i can find in my yoga practices this week to her labour and delivery. i know she will do amazing things when the time comes and i can't wait to find out if 'aunty k-ron' has a new niece or nephew. i already love him/her so much!

-kare

fancy pants.

a few weeks ago james casually mentioned upon me picking marcus up: hey, you should potty train him this weekend. i thought with all the changes going on already, plus marcus and i moving in the near future ... mmmm .... no. not yet. not this second. he isn't ready. i am not ready to live through all the nightmares i have read about/ heard about/ seen-in-made-for-tv-movies. not there yet. no thank you.

i am not the pushy parent. i'm not the parent who showboats their kid around in public. just on the blog. but that's different. & i digress. i made a really deliberate choice to raise marcus with an exceptional amount of trust, and to really work to help him develop a strong sense of self - to trust himself, be secure with himself, and be wildly independant. it has worked against me i.e. on his first day of school at 11 months old, he turned to me and said "okay. bye mommy. see you after." and walked in on his own like he owned the place. i kind of wanted him to cry at least a little bit. [cough cough shameless selfish mother of one.] like, oh no, don't leave me here. but alas. there he went.

so we had a conversation about potty training [marcus and i]. and i decided to be open to it and trust that he would let me know.

then yesterday happened. he woke up and while i was changing him and getting him dressed for school, my 2-year-and-5-month-old-but-who's-counting said to me in his sleepy voice:

"mom? no diaper please. i wearing fancy pants to school. the ones with lightning mcqueen on it." [i.swear.to.god.word.for.word.]
me: "oh. you are?"
"ya."
me: "marcus, do you understand that if you don't wear a diaper, you will have to tell me or your teachers when you need to go to the washroom? on the potty?"
"ya."

so i chalked it up as progress, put his cutest little toddler butt into his bright red lightning mcqueen fancy pants, and assumed that by 10 am he would be back in his eco diapers, snug as a bug and peeing away to his heart's delight without a toddler care in the world.

um. nope. i picked him up at 5:30 pm. no accidents. he had told his teachers and used the potty all day at school. i cried. i literally was so proud i just could not help but cry a few very proud tears right there in classroom ns3 and told him exactly why i was crying. "marcus. i am just so proud and so happy. you have made me SO happy today. everyday. but especially today. you are amazing for using the potty all day. you are so awesome." and we called dad right away to share it with him too. and he was over the moon.

and this morning? the sequel. he told me again, but today wanted to wear his 'weenew fancy pants' aka the bright red ones with the fire trucks on them. and wouldn't you know it - james called me promptly at 5:20 pm to tell me he was still wearing the same fancy pants i had dropped him off in at 9:00 am.

if i told you i am the proudest mother in the entire world right now, it still wouldn't touch how i feel.

just slightly excited.

-kare

you should be dancing.

i used to dance. like, for about twenty years. i also used to be blonde:

copyright kaja tirrul

but then was brunette shortly after:

copyright kaja tirrul

so it's no surprise that dancing is a part of our everyday routine here at home: i pretend to be beyonce and perform 'single ladies', then marcus upstages me by doing the dougie:

then i come back at him with my best lady gaga moves. then he one-ups me again with his toddler head spin and stalls on the kitchen floor. at this point i go all out and show him some ballet, some modern - like it's getting serious. then he's all oh ya? and does his perfect little butt wiggle paired with his perfect 'rapper face' and i am out. down for the count. he wins.
instead of a dance studio - now i dance in the kitchen. or down the hall. or at kindergym. i might even talk meliss into coming with me to an actual class now that i'm all high on life and making things happen. you know, because i have extra time in the day for that :)

it's not just a passion of my own or an early passion of marcus'. dancing is amazing in helping kids to gain self confidence, develop coordination and rhythm, agility, flexibility, musicality, it will increase early spatial awareness and enhance functionality of both mind and body. it is a HUGE win.

i'll be surprised if marcus doesn't do something with music or dancing in his life ... both are already a huge part of the little person he is ... stay tuned and i'll share some photos from marcus' 'first guitar jam session' in the near future. he loves music, he is always dancing, and it makes me so happy and super proud.
and who knows - someday i might even win one of our dance-offs :)

-kare

saga of a single mom.

the cat is out of the bag. but the blog name isn't changing :)
in case you didn't pick up on the subtleties in earlier posts: the mention of the new role i have taken on recently, the whispers through my posts about 'changes' and james 'coming over' and other hints that i have made while keeping absolute respect for my family.

we have received an overwhelming amount of support from our families and friends and can't tell you enough how lucky all three of us are to be able to make such an important change in our life and be able to do it in a way that is really positive. we are only able to do this 'so well' because of the support we have around us and i certainly don't take it for granted.

we are doing awesome. i am really excited to have started a new chapter as a woman, and as a parent. this transition is a game changer in my life and i have chosen to grab it by the ... soccer balls? it would be so easy to be 'negative' during a change like this, but it is a much more exciting test of character to continue to keep your faith and focus on the positive. so here it is. ten things i want to share about myself since becoming a single mom:

1. i thought i was a pretty productive woman/mom before. now i think i'm partially insane and on crack. i've never been so productive in my life. whether i have to do banking/dry cleaning/grocery shopping/yoga/work functions/dinner/oh-my-god-he-peed-on-the-white-fur-carpet-cleaning/whatever.
2. i work smarter/harder. at everything. i feel like my father set the bar very high and now that i'm doing the solo parenting, i only want to be a better vitamin-selling-protein-sampling-singing-dancing-yogaing-reading-mom/woman/friend/daughter/sister/person. because marcus sees so much of me now that i feel like i need to put a lot of thought towards the impact i have. not just on him but on everyone i'm around.

my dad set the bar high on single parenting. except for these haircuts.

3. my laundry per week is down like 75%. just being honest. so i have a few hours of my life back each weekend to do other cleaning or work!
4. i am setting more goals for myself and marcus than ever. and going after them. and i'm going to accomplish them. all of them. [evil laugh]. i truly have a new lease on life.
5. speaking of lease, we are moving. marcus and i are on the hunt for new digs. preferably that has big old stone-brick and a black roof. a girl can dream right?

i drove by this townhouse yesterday and decided it is my single mom dream casa. 

6. i almost brought home a puppy. then i gave my head a shake. my father would be happy to hear this. [about the head shake. not the puppy]
7. i stopped drinking coffee. i don't know why. i just did and i feel great about it.
8. i'm training for my first half marathon. and doing 30 days to inspiration at my yoga studio. and loving it.
9. i haven't eaten a single chip in two weeks. [seriously. if you know me well, get your jaw off the ground] but i can't promise you i won't be having some this weekend.
10.  i'm super excited to be blogging more these days. it totally benefits my blog that sometimes i have no one to talk to except a two 1/2 year old. altho we do have some wicked convos over here.

marcus is a very lucky little boy. he has two parents who love him more than anything in this world, and most importantly, he knows it. he has also been better behaved than ever [at least during my 6 days a week :)] and i am blown away as usual by how smart he is and his really well thought out questions about these changes and just how awesome he is in general. we are so lucky.

so if you took time to reach out to any of the 3 of us recently to see if we are okay, offer your support, just say you are a phone call/5 hour drive/flight away: thank you. we totally love you. and we are totally more than okay.

-kare

bad boys for life.

i could not help but share these shots on facebook.

these guys are ridic.

about a week ago, marcus moved from this cute and smiley dance face to a pretty hardcore 'rapper' expression when he's on the move [dance move specifically].

it cracks me up. i may need to re-name the blog 'saga of a stage mom' if he keeps this show up:

also you might note the scrape on his forehead. aka yet another boo boo for my one-speed-only-and-i-like-to-look-behind-me-while-running-forward-at-full-tilt son.

he runs at ridiculous speeds while rubbernecking to see if we are anywhere close to catching up. last night he was out for his pre-bedtime sprint and literally just wiped out forehead-first on the concrete path. he took it like a champ but i totes wish he would be more careful.

for now, he is just a bad boy for life.

-kare