deux.

number two.
numero deux.
nombre ... we get it.
remember the time a few weeks ago when i asked for advice on number two on the potty? [for marcus fyi, i'm good thanks]. thank you SO.MUCH. to the people who took time to email me or ask around for tips and tricks.

last night marcus went to bed and i knew he had been working on something. he asked me for a diaper, and i politely told him no, we have a perfectly good potty and he should rock that out. he wasn't upset, which was the first sign i thought this could happen. he sat there, nothing happened, so he went to bed.

then an hour later this tiny voice is yelping from his bed 'i want to poop in the potty!' so he groggily wanders across the hall to his bathroom and plops down and goes! just like that. nbd. i obviously was so proud i started to tear up [loser mom alert] and promptly told him how happy i was that he had done it. he knew it as well. he was half asleep but still beaming ear to ear with his accomplishment. he couldn't believe how easy it was. clearly he didn't go back bed without first getting a weenew sticker on his hand.

half an hour later, the kid does it again.

he just blows my mind. so here are a few tips of my own that i've accumulated and used in the past couple of weeks:

1. don't push it. encourage it definitely, but in a positive way. if you upset the toddler in the process you are totally shooting yourself in your parental foot.
2. keep great books at the potty. like dr. suess and a toddler bible perhaps.
3. give the toddler squeezies after dinner and make clear mention of how awesome the potty is. squeezie = gets things moving and the comfort of knowing he'll have to go at home.
4. if they want your iphone to occupy their mind/fingers on the potty, give.it.up:

5. don't go nuts with rewards. do you really want to give the kid a chocolate bar every time their digestive system gets to work? we did a sticker last night. i'm sure that will last a few days and then it's old hat, awesome and zero expectations.
6. sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and stop giving in to diapers. not in a mean way. in a tough[er] love way.
7. if you have any shame, potty training is not your game.

thank you so much for helping us do this! i am super proud of marcus' latest accomplishment  - even if it was less than glamorous to clean up. [yipes].

-kare
xo

ten things i want to tell you about potty training.

our first ever potty success caught on cam

1. do not have expectations. of yourself. or most importantly, of your kid. expectations with any person in your life [not just your pint-sized co-pilot] only encourage disappointment, and really don't give you room to be surprised. and with potty training, this is crazy important. at least to me. and marcus.
2. shit happens. me: marcus, why don't you just go poo on your potty? marcus: my poop doesn't know how. he just took his first number two on the potty by himself yesterday. this is huge. because for the first two weeks, he either held it in or waited until his diaper was safe and secure for a nap or bedtime before unloading.
3. raising an independent child means some days, there is going to be pee ALL OVER YOUR BATHROOM WALLS. so keep your safe organic non-bleach bathroom cleaner real nearby, or even stock up when you find a coupon. and continue to remind your wildly independent 2-year-and-5-month-old of the important of tucking his fire hose in and holding it down with one finger. please. and. thank. you.
4. do not ever show stress. or disappointment. or frustration. killer. only ever show pride. excitement. encouragement. support. if you aren't there yet, how could you expect your little one to be?
5. you will find random tiny puddles of pee all over your house. you might judge me but i think this is beyond adorable. one day this week marcus did the funniest little wiggle dance around the kitchen in his birthday suit, and i looked down and realized his [fire hose] was [leaking]. and he was legit just trying to see how long he could hold it in. i just laughed and said: oh my goodness child run to the potty! and if you've never seen a two-year-and-five-month-old try to run down the hall and keep his legs crossed at the same time so as not to LOSE IT: that is comedy. he made it. he tucked it. we were happy.
6. do make up some sort of ridiculous victory dance. ours is so hip we would likely get a signed deal if people heard it. it is like a conga line meets lady gaga. we have mad style over here. marcus has made me sing it in front of a select few visitors. i'm fine with it. if you don't know by now, i have no shame. it looks like this:

7. reward success. reward effort. reward it all. your child is awesome. tell them that no matter where you find the puddle. they are trying. and they are awesome.
8. laugh. a lot. not at them. with them.
9. work out how much money you are saving by not buying [as many] diapers. and add that to your monthly deposit into their university/first car/first house/wedding/spring break/o.m.goodness this kid is going places and i need to back him every.single.step.of.the.way savings account. don't even think about it. you were already spending the money on diapers so you know you can afford it and it will add up to a thousand dollars a year to their bank account. that ALONE will buy their first car when they get their licence.
10. you know that saying 'this too shall pass'? the saying that likely was your sole survival mantra during the first 6 weeks/teething/first fever/separation anxiety/the second round of separation anxiety/when they started walking and kept giving you heart attacks because all of a sudden nothing was safe? this too shall pass. and if you don't stay positive, you will miss the best parts of potty training. the legs crossed run down the hall with his little bum jiggling behind him while his [fire hose] dribbled the entire way to the bathroom. the specific fancy pants requests in the morning [lightning mcqueen mondays. weenew wednesdays.] the first time he said to me: no, i going to the potty by myself. and walked  into the bathroom, sat down, tucked, peed, and best of anything the look on his face as he came running out the washroom to grab me by the hand and take me back in to show me what he did. with more pride in that moment, in himself, than i had ever seen. [i'm crying right now]. do not miss this. because each of these moments too, will pass.

happy tucking!

-kare

fancy pants.

a few weeks ago james casually mentioned upon me picking marcus up: hey, you should potty train him this weekend. i thought with all the changes going on already, plus marcus and i moving in the near future ... mmmm .... no. not yet. not this second. he isn't ready. i am not ready to live through all the nightmares i have read about/ heard about/ seen-in-made-for-tv-movies. not there yet. no thank you.

i am not the pushy parent. i'm not the parent who showboats their kid around in public. just on the blog. but that's different. & i digress. i made a really deliberate choice to raise marcus with an exceptional amount of trust, and to really work to help him develop a strong sense of self - to trust himself, be secure with himself, and be wildly independant. it has worked against me i.e. on his first day of school at 11 months old, he turned to me and said "okay. bye mommy. see you after." and walked in on his own like he owned the place. i kind of wanted him to cry at least a little bit. [cough cough shameless selfish mother of one.] like, oh no, don't leave me here. but alas. there he went.

so we had a conversation about potty training [marcus and i]. and i decided to be open to it and trust that he would let me know.

then yesterday happened. he woke up and while i was changing him and getting him dressed for school, my 2-year-and-5-month-old-but-who's-counting said to me in his sleepy voice:

"mom? no diaper please. i wearing fancy pants to school. the ones with lightning mcqueen on it." [i.swear.to.god.word.for.word.]
me: "oh. you are?"
"ya."
me: "marcus, do you understand that if you don't wear a diaper, you will have to tell me or your teachers when you need to go to the washroom? on the potty?"
"ya."

so i chalked it up as progress, put his cutest little toddler butt into his bright red lightning mcqueen fancy pants, and assumed that by 10 am he would be back in his eco diapers, snug as a bug and peeing away to his heart's delight without a toddler care in the world.

um. nope. i picked him up at 5:30 pm. no accidents. he had told his teachers and used the potty all day at school. i cried. i literally was so proud i just could not help but cry a few very proud tears right there in classroom ns3 and told him exactly why i was crying. "marcus. i am just so proud and so happy. you have made me SO happy today. everyday. but especially today. you are amazing for using the potty all day. you are so awesome." and we called dad right away to share it with him too. and he was over the moon.

and this morning? the sequel. he told me again, but today wanted to wear his 'weenew fancy pants' aka the bright red ones with the fire trucks on them. and wouldn't you know it - james called me promptly at 5:20 pm to tell me he was still wearing the same fancy pants i had dropped him off in at 9:00 am.

if i told you i am the proudest mother in the entire world right now, it still wouldn't touch how i feel.

just slightly excited.

-kare