tipping the scales.

balance is a funny thing. When you welcome a baby into a family, it’s an exciting.awesome.exhausting.challenging new dynamic that hits you in the face faster than his or her first explosive d. First – it’s all about the newb. It’s about 6-8 sessions of b-feeding a day. It’s about is the colour of that BM consistent with newb’s age and weight and last feeding? It’s about let’s hide the aiden+anais muslin blankets covered in spit up because so+so are coming over to meet the baby. It’s about skyrocketing hormones hitting both ends of the spectrum while the other half just tries to keep up. Your heart, head + hormones are entirely consumed by each beautiful breath and not much else matters for the first few weeks – not even the spit up on the designer baby blankets + tiny burberry jeans.

then another shift in balance happens when your fam finds it’s rhythm aka said newb starts sleeping at night. You start to really value any adult stimulation/conversation/wine [did i type that?!] in a day, and balancing out as a fam who needs to take care of.each.other. I was never one to think the whole family should revolve around the baby – more one to think that as a mother, I wanted to provide an incredible foundational and familial core of trust, security + love. Which means you make time for friends. For your partner. For yourself. And in doing so you truly value and cherish the contributions you’re making all the while to your mini-you.

when our family changed shape again last year, i wondered how it would tip the scales.again. I focused first and foremost on fostering that foundation – and if we can be totes honest [which we can. Because by we i kind of mean me and it’s my blog so i make the rules ;)], i worried that this chapter might set some unrealistic expectations and make for some mighty bridges to cross when we get to them. Aka. That when marcus gets me all to himself six days a week – he might be a little shocked when another man is crazy enough to want to support that family foundation with me, E.T.C. i also worried that in a much less permanent way, i might not know how to balance between the single moming+full time working+hot yoga-ing+half marathon-ing+friending+etc.ing. let alone open my heart + valuable and limited schedule to someone new without feeling as though it’s taking away from the energy i love to invest in my son.

different kind of balance ;) pint sized pop a wheelie

tall order. It’s not easy but i do feel like the scales are finding their balance now that i’ve found my footing and finely tuned the hours in my day to be as productive as single-mom-humanly possible. i hardly watch tv. I give myself one solid hour a day to challenge + balance  my mind + body in hot yoga. i work harder than ever before. i play harder too. but now i play hot wheels + bike rides + trips to the zoo instead of shopping + jagger bombs circa four years ago. i try to make each day even more productive than the last + still get enough sleep to bounce out of bed even on the mornings when i’m greeted a half hour ‘early’ by a rested + ready marcus. my time with marcus hasn’t changed. i squeeze in late night phone dates and marcus gets some needed QT with his old man while i squeeze in occasional actual dates or getaways. i am present in whatever i spend my time doing. just much more selective of how that time is invested and so much more aware of the contributions i’m making. i can grocery shop one of those massive superstores in like 20 min including a full week of organic goods + checkout + 22 minutes if you count a victory lap around the joe fresh section. hey. i like to keep the blog honest right? I have a few handfuls of 20 min healthy dins that i throw together while simultaneously emailing orders in + vrooming a hot wheels around the kitchen because marcus specifically asked me to drive it while i make dinner that night. seriously. have you ever made a healthy dins on a dime with one hand and used a pot lid as a race track ramp for your yellow convertible hot wheels? Now.that.is.productive. most days he is up on the counter prepping veggies with his mama so we can totally juice our time together. but by juice i actually mean phytoberry or organic apple juice diluted with filtered water. Just saying.

finding + keeping this balance is a lot harder than my daily crow pose on the yoga mat. Parenting is a quickly moving target when you have four hands to aim with in a fam, let alone 2 hands, 6 days a week. And parenting is the most important target in my fast paced life – but not the only one.

In todderwise, the author breaks down this formula for raising a toddler based on your core values. I must have read it a hundred and seventeen times trying to make sense of it and relate it to our day to day decisions with marcus. i’ve come to apply that same formula to the choices i make raising marcus, and myself. it keeps me growing + learning + very aware of every move i make. If a particular action or time spent  doesn’t contribute to my core values or my ‘why’, i just pass. It has become a whole new way of thinking + essentially doing. it’s led me to value the people in my life more than ever. it’s led me to be more present in my time than ever.

great book. If you have a toddler: you should read it.

it’s led to a balance that i’m pretty freaking proud of. And as time passes, one that is hanging strong + steady amidst the speedy pace of our day-to-day + the quickly moving target of single parenting + the work load + even the victory lap at joe fresh.  And even if it never comes as easily as tree pose or crow or even warrior three on my yoga mat, this shape we’ve taken is hanging in the balance and whispering ‘namaste’ every step of the way.

-kare

xo