who-time? me-time?

as a mom, almost any time i take for myself comes with the dreaded mommy guilt. example:

james: babe, why don't you go to hot yoga/starbucks date/shopping date/you get the point right after work?

me: no thank you. [as in, i cannot bear the thought of not seeing my little monkey before he goes to bed. what if he thinks i am a bad mother for not coming home to him today? what if he is a textbook toddler tonight and very needy and just NEEDS me? do i really want to miss out on our bedtime giggles?]

but i was determined to have the best of both worlds: some important time to myself, without necessarily sacrificing my time with marcus after work.

thank the moksha gods that there are post-bedtime hot yoga classes in our hood. mental break? yes please. great work-out? check. feeling totally rejuvenated and refocused after my 60 minute class? merci. it is almost too easy: i put the boy to bed, i trot out the door, i am back on the couch next to james by ten for some couples time before we tuck in.

on weekends, i relish in 'naptime'; two hours of time to do whatever combo of phone dates/pilates/couch potato-ing/online browsing/cleaning strikes me.

occassionally i do go out after work, but it's rare. i love my girlfriends, but the second i get home i greet james like a good fiance and race to the nursery to whisper 'goodnight pumpkin (or as i have shamelessly not given up my baby talk yet, 'puntin') and give him a little back rub and goodnight kiss.

i take comfort in knowing i'm not alone on this one. even giselle bundchen said in a recent interview that only now that her son is over a year old, is she really starting to figure out the benefits of balancing being a great mom with a being a better 'you'. 18-months into motherhood, i finally feel like i'm in a place where the mommy-guilt isn't keeping me from doing me. i really do find that the more i do for myself, the more i have to give back to james and marcus. plus, we were clearly sleep deprived with a newb when we opted for a post-baby beach wedding, and the yoga doesn't hurt bikini season either ;)


-kare