milk what your mama gave you.

if you're a man. with no kids. maybe close the browser. this post is about boobs. but less in the attractive way. and more in the functional way. and this is a long post. because i feel so passionate about it and have a ton to say.

once upon a time, when i had marcus, i was super excited to get me some boobs.

seriously. because everyone says how when you get pregnant, boobs are the best part. but i digress.

i also had read the book babywise about fifty seven times and knew one and one thing only. not how to hold a newborn baby. not how to change a diaper [seriously the velcro goes in the front or in the back?]. i was going to breastfeed that tiny person if it killed me.

a few days old. absolute milk coma.

little did i know it almost would. i kid. but seriously ladies am i the only one who thought it would be all national geographic and perfect and sunshine and lollipops and milk for the masses? totally not how it goes. so - in happy response to some recent feedback - here are my top thoughts on b-effing the heck out of your baby:

1. get support. all kinds of support. for 1, amazing nursing bras. just one to take to the hospital, then send your baby daddy/bestfriend/sister/guardianangel out to motherhood to get you like 3 more once your milk comes in. i had bought size c while laughing my butt off thinking there was no way i would ever wear a c. then my milk came in, my boobs grew to a d in two days and knocked me in the face and i fell over backwards. so i had to go to exchange all my new with tags on nursing bras. so get good support that way. also get great support in the form of anyone you know who has breastfed. men will never get it. get a woman who you can talk to if your nipples are bleeding. because no man wants to talk about that.
2. it hurts. it hurts a lot more than those beautiful national geographic pictures look like:

between sides on our first night home together.

3. there are incredible gov resources you should use. they are free. go see a lactation consultant [referred to you through the hospital] and go more than once. go at 3 days old. 7 days old. 14 days old. marcus latched like a freaking champ, but it hurt so much i cried every.single.time. he latched on. so i wanted the peace of mind from an expert that he was gaining weight/not spitting up too much/not allergic to my milk/not tongue tied/that i wasn't breaking him. definitely do this.
4. read a book on breastfeeding. take a breastfeeding class. it won't teach you everything but don't go in cold. for the love of chips and dip don't go into it cold.
5. personal lesson: a 9 pound baby comes out all kinds of hungry. i am pretty small in general and had a lot of trouble producing enough for such a massive baby. i had to supplement from the get-go. but the kid was 90% breastfed and i was pumping as much as a day allowed on top of just feeding him straight up. so don't stress. do what you can. every body is different. every baby is different. go with it.
6. take it one day at a time. on day 4, you will likely be all 'i'm done my boobs are killing me i'm tired i don't want to pump i am done where is the formula please drive to a 24 hr shoppers and get formula this child will do great with formula i'm done.' take it one day at a time. every day, when you are near-tears because it is still very new, just tell youself 'i'm going to make it until the end of TODAY.' tell yourself the same thing the next day. and the day after that. it almost always gets easier after day 7-10.
7. my sisters and i all had different experiences with breastfeeding our babies. but what's awesome? no matter what each of us was going through, we supported each other 100%. be supportive of others. and it will come back to you. ten fold. karma is totally effective with kids on boobs.
8. if you pump a ton of milk, and find out your baby is allergic or something, DONATE IT. DO NOT THROW THAT LIQUID GOLD OUT. seriously.
9. watch your diet while breastfeeding. do some reading on breastfeeding diet plans. eat more protein than ever before in your life. eat more vegetables than ever before in your life. don't eat spicy food.
10. medela extra strength tender care lanolin ointment. get like 3 tubes of it. this should be in your hospital bag. it is safe for baby. it will heal your nipples and make it bearable. lube up from the waist up. keep your head in the game people.
11. i wanted to breastfeed for a year. at six months, marcus looked up at me [swear to god] mid-suck. like he was 16 and suddenly making all his own decisions. he just looked up, grabbed my boob with both little hands, pulled off, and turned his head away. as if to say 'we're good. i'm done here. what's next'. i was so confused. i tried the other side. i tried ten minutes later. i tried that night. but he was done. aka the beginning of a very independant little man. so that was that.
12. let down is insanity. i could have put out small fires. there should be a carnival game where instead of shooting a gun to hit the can over its a set of faux boobs and you spray milk a la letdown into little faux baby mouths at the back of the booth. amazing. i might patent that.
12. your boobs aren't a write off if you breast feed. mine look pretty awesome naked. they aren't d's anymore. i literally just laughed out loud at the thought of it. they aren't even.close. but they are humble and in good shape. i'm definitely going to get a nice set of new bigger ones after i'm done having/breastfeeding kids - but that's a totally vain and shameless aspiration. so don't assume that it ruins your boobs. they just might surprise you.

also, just a partial side note. breastfeeding is the best. the health benefits are absolutely unreal. i miss it still. not in a weird way. but i totally miss that bond and our perfect silence except the cute little suck noise. i miss it a lot. he never felt more 'mine' than during that time. we are still close, but you cannot be more connected than you are during that time. it is beautiful and wonderful if you are able to do it.

i hope to do it again one day. and while i totally respect to each her own and mind your own baby, i hope if you do have a baby and it's an option, you'll give it an honest go. or at least keep an eye out for my future carnival let down game.

-kare
xo